She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
