What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize