I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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