What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
