Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
