none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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