Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
