Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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