apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
