No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm too high and old for this...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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