Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize