but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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