why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
