u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
