If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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