Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
