Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want to walk on stilts...naked
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
