is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize