just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
