just tell him i said nine months
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
