The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
