No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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