I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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