After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
