well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
