Do you still have your period?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
