it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
