I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
