yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm way too hungover for life right now
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize