He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
