I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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