Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
