Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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