He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
