$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
