i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
