I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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