We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
