i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
40s are totally the cure
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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