Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize