Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
