I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
