It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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