so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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