how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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