some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
