My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
