last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
