um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
