How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
PANTIES FOUND
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
