Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
