Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
