Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
