Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
