I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
