so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dick very happy bro
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
