as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
