i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
