I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
