Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
